Confessions of a Jetblue pervert

I left Louisiana in the wake of Hurricane Gustav … on time – despite his best efforts to keep me in the state – and intact, and was greeted in New York City by a weeping Tropical Storm Hanna. Wandering from one natural disaster into another seems to be a good way to start, or a start, anyway. I’ll leave the morality of nature to the philosophers.

Besides, this is a confession of my love and sick brand loyalty, not an intellectual screed.

JFK is my preferred gateway to the city for two reasons. First, it is Jetblue’s hub and I’ve got a thing for Jetblue – a not entirely wholesome thing when you are talking about wanting a long-term sexual relationship with an airline, but I’ve said it and I stand behind my statement. Jetblue offers good service, great prices and a casual attitude toward travel that causes my wanderer bowels to twitter a little.

“We’re here to get you there,” she whispers, hot and wet, in my ear. “Come, ride me.”

Yes, yes, oh sweet Jesus, yessssssss!

Sorry about that. Can I take a second to compose myself?

Better now.

My trip from New Orleans to NYC set me back $124, because I checked two bags. That was cheaper than a bus by almost $100 and I was in the air for less than three hours, compared to 36 hours on the road by bus. And, I got to watch “Groundhog Day” on TBS, in the air, on free headphones.

Besides, when we were all waiting to deplane, the pilot walked out of the flight deck, looked at us all standing there and said, “There must be something good on TV. You can all leave. Bye. I love you.”

I love you too, Jetblue. And I pine for the time I next feel the warm embrace of your wings.

The second reason JFK beats LaGuardia and Newark – the other choices – hands down is the ease of cheap access to the city. LaGuardia is a bitch to get to and from on public transportation (subway to bus to airport, hope to desperate prayer to despair). Newark is easier, but a little more costly because you have to play with the PATH train, so a trip to Port Authority will set you back $15 and you still have to catch the subway … unless you are staying in Time Square … so you are down another $2.

JFK is on the A train, so you are out $2 for the subway and $5 for the Air Train, which takes you from the Howard Beach stop to all the terminals.

These factors are, of course, not at issue if you have the $50 to grab a cab or want to spend the $25 for a private shuttle bus. I simply prefer to use that money for a day or two more wandering … on each end of the trip (you do have to fly out again, right? Right?).