A grand experiment on the mean streets of New York

After considerable effort and no less considerable personal expense in this great city, I have come to a shocking conclusion of great importance to fellow wanderers.

The only way to screw up a slice of greasy New York pizza is to charge too much for it.

So, the results of my experiment have been input into the following chart (not much of a chart, really, because that would require graphic arts skills. This is more of a list).

Cost to taste
Cost: $2.75 -- Taste: Bad
Cost: $2 -- Taste: OK
Cost: $1 -- Taste: Great

Using science then, I can without doubt answer once and for all a major point of contention between New Yorkers. I can tell you, scientifically, where you can find the best pizza in New York.

"99-cent Pizza" at 43rd Street and Third Avenue.

They sell pizza for 99 cents a slice. It is greasy. They let you sprinkle your slice with grated cheeselike substances, red pepper flakes and that powdery green stuff that looks like herbs. You get a napkin and a paper plate that becomes translucent as the slice drains. It is a true New York experience you can actually afford to experience.

And, while you are eating it, you can walk the block and cut through the Art Deco wonderland that is the lobby of the Chrysler Building.

That's what I'm talkin' about.